I've been busy.
Work is really busy.
Sorry I haven't seen you, I've been busy.
The year is just flying, huh? When did life get so busy?
How am I? Busy.
See a pattern?
Oh, HI! <picks up the microphone> There. Is that better? Can you all hear me now?
Good.
So yeah, I've been busy, it seems. Busy with work, busy with my loves, busy with life, busy with a whole bunch of things. But you know what I just realized? I haven't been living the way I want. No, now stop. You in the back, sit the hell down - this is MY show. You want to talk? Get your own damned blog.
But yeah. I haven't been living the life I really want. I've been floating through the days rather than living them, for the most part. I've let work become my excuse for everything - Why I''m not writing, why I'm not doing ANYTHING artistic, why I'm so damned tired all the time. It's WORK'S fault!
It might be partially, but in the end it's MY fault. I'm just not living. Now don't misunderstand me - I've had some AMAZING experiences with my loves. I've been to see some incredible bands, and to Boston, and NYC, and just so many great experiences, but the days between those experiences have been less than stellar.
You know what I want to do? I want to get back to the music I've discovered again. I want to spend more time singing in public and working on the Lovecraft album with my incredibly talented friend. I want to go to the park and make an ass of myself with my uke. I want to draw or paint, DAMN do I want to do that. I want to be able to BE the artist I feel inside. I have this craving to create.
I also have the craving to SHOP! It's time to freshen up my wardrobe and come to terms with the fact that (a) I've put some weight back on and (b) I want to look GOOD not only for my loves, but for myself. It might be time to go blonde again, too.
It's time to stop the excuses. I'm tired. yes. I'm busy, yes. But we all are, aren't we? Isn't it time to get on living again?
Can you smell the Summer coming? Me too.
<drops mic back in the stand>
I think it's time to write a song.
I hear ya. There's this thing called "running" that we used to do too, way back when. Gah.
ReplyDeleteOne step at a time...
I love hearing this. I love that you miss this, too. You ARE an artist, and you feel it when you don't create. I do, too. And I miss it, too. Soon the merry-go-round will slow enough that you can jump off and take pictures of the painted horses instead of being made dizzy by them.
ReplyDeleteAnd blonde? Oh HELLS YEAH!! :D
Can't wait to hear that song!! :)